The Monitors Keeping track of new music, media
and industry news - 23-05-13-05.28am

Muse Set Coventry on Fire

Back in the old days, when people saw something like the above, they called the fire brigade. Unless they realised it wasn’t actually a fire at all, in which case they probably wouldn’t make a big deal about it.

These days, people immediately take a photo and stick it up on Twitter with the comment “Oooh fire”. And, unsurprisingly, people soon assume that it must be a real fire, rather than a pyrotechnic rehearsal for an upcoming Muse gig. Within minutes ‘Ricoh Arena’ is trending before anyone has bothered to, you know, alert the emergency services or something.

Eventually West Midlands Fire Service was alerted by “a member of the media”, but confirmed no emergency calls had been made despite hundreds of people retweeting the picture. Which almost makes you wish it had been a real fire. Not so much because it would have meant Muse being consumed by raging flames, just to drive home to people that the first thing they should do when they see a burning building is call 999, rather than log in to bloody Twitter…

Parents Revolt Against Nick Cave Choir

We’re down in Brighton for The Great Escape at the moment, but sadly have not chanced upon regional sleb Nick Cave yet. Perhaps he’s hiding from his local schools PTA association. Apparently he’s having trouble sourcing young singers for the choir on the current Bad Seeds tour, because parents are unhappy with some of his lyrics, such as “I was the match/That would fire up her snatch”. Says Dr. Cave, MD…

“Personally I find that ridiculous, but maybe I’m more liberal with things. Anyway, often people feel it’s inappropriate, and they don’t want their children around words like ‘snatch’.”

Possibly they just don’t want their kids around a dubious cheesemaker, but we’re sure he’ll manage…

Google Launch Streaming Music Service

Google is preparing to finally unveil its long-mooted music streaming service in an attempt to challenge market leaders Spotify and Pandora, while also beating Apple, who’ve long been preparing a similar launch, to the punch. The new program will supposedly give subscribers access to a huge library of music to stream. They’ve signed deals with Universal Music Group, Sony Music Entertainment and Warner Music Group, so this could be a serious power play…

How to Destroy Your Brand on Facebook

This is a pretty spectacular of how to turn a pretty bad situation into an absolute atrocity using social media. When an Arizonan restaurant, Amy’s Baking Company Bakery Boutique & Bistro, featured on ‘Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares’ only to be too damn impossible for even Gordon Ramsay to stick around and exploit for laughs, entertained/horrified viewers flocked to the company’s Facebook page to register their amusement/disgust.

Rather than opt for a period of silence and wait until the controversy died down, or offer a contrite public apology or explanation, restaurant owners Samy and Amy Bouzaglo decided to fight fire with fire and promptly burnt any remaining positive brand reputation to the ground. After pledging to stand strong against the “oppression” and insisting they wouldn’t “bend to the will of these haters and sinners”, they promptly proceeded to bend over backwards in order to fire off a series of increasingly aggressive and downright mental missives.

This is probably our favourite (not least because of the response)…

…but there are plenty of other highlights. If you want to peruse the full meltdown, Buzzfeed have helpfully chronicled it for your satisfaction…

Competition to Sleep with 30 Seconds To Mars

Thirty Seconds To Mars, a band known for precisely nothing over than managing to survive and grow like bad acne despite merely being a vanity vehicle for actor Jared Leto, have set up a special competition for their teenie fans…

Concert tickets not good enough? A meet and greet not good enough? Feck it, come round their house. Hey, one of you will be lucky enough to spend the night in their bed.

No. Seriously.

The competition form on their site reads:

“Pre-order your copy of LOVE LUST FAITH + DREAMS for a chance to be one of 5 WINNERS who will receive an exclusive invitation to THE LAB for a magical night we are calling… THE SLEEPOVER! … Still want more? … 1 OF THE 5 WINNERS will spend the night at Jareds house IN Jared’s very own BED.”

Although innocently promising a night of vegan pancakes and chicken (which seems like an obtuse combination) it’s a bit weird to invite “ANYONE” to be able to win a night literally in the bed of a band member they already adore…

Call me sensitive, but asking someone to buy your record so they can, maybe, spend the night in your illustrious presence, and perhaps even underneath your sheets is very, very odd. It’s almost like you’re pimping yourself out because, if your music ain’t good enough, why not just sell yourself?

Not to accuse the band of something they haven’t done, or would do (though you’re thinking it), it is hard to imagine who went: “Actually, yeah, my fans would love nothing more than to spend a night in my company”. Who’d want to spend a night with someone with that kind of mentality?

Velvets and Radiohead on Wooden Records

Velvet Underground – Sunday Morning – Laser Cut Wood Record from Amanda Ghassaei on Vimeo.

3D printers have barely been around for five minutes and already sick fucks across the globes are utilising them to make not only working firearms but models of real live foetuses. So it’s good to know that some more tasteful types are exploring more pleasant applications of the technology, such as these wooden records.

Designer Amanda Ghassael showed taste as well as impressive technical skills by cutting The Velvet Underground’s ‘Sunday Morning’ onto Maple (weirdly, we’ve coincidentally listened to that album about five times in the last twelve hours. Although not on wood, admittedly). Below, you can also hear a wooden version of Radiohead’s ‘Idioteque’ too. Admittedly, they do both sound pretty shit, but I’d rather live in a world full of slightly ropey Velvets records than a world of gun-toting foetuses. But maybe that’s just me…

Radiohead – Idioteque – Laser Cut Wood Record from Amanda Ghassaei on Vimeo.

EA Shoot Out Gun Makers

Unless you’re a gun nut you probably haven’t thought about it before, but every time EA uses a registered gun design in their games they have to pay the owners of the design, which are, er, gun manufacturers.

Having realised that in the current climate that’s not the best PR to have, the games developer has taken the step to just stop paying them at all. Which is illegal, but doesn’t fund actually real fire arms. Although does still essentially promote using them to kill people… [/moralising]

Rip From Spotify

A new Chrome extension briefly allowed Spotify users to rip tracks from the streaming service.

Downloadify was freely available on the Chrome web store before it was taken down and Spotify closed the technological loop hole. Spells trouble, though…

Software patents be damned?

New Zealand is the latest country to take the step to rule that software can’t be patented.

It will be the first time that the parliament has legislated on the subject of software patents.

Free internet for Forbes readers

Microsoft were offering out free wi-fi this month to readers of Forbes.

The ad appeared in a limited amount of print adverts and worked by a tiny router and battery being wedged in between the pages, offering free internet for 15 days via T-Mobile. Pretty nifty; coming up with something that makes Forbes worth buying that is, not the technology…